So last weekend I spent my time in London, which compared to up north is sardine city! One of the main things that can trigger my anxiety is crowded spaces, and a feeling of not being able to ‘escape’. I also worry that I will be in pain, feel nauseous or faint when there are lots of people around me.
Although I’m at a point now where I can identify that I’m not in any real danger, that doesn’t mean that my anxiety isn’t just as intense or scary as before. This weekend was therefore a BIG challenge for me! After being initially diagnosed with anxiety I haven’t brought myself to use any form of public transport since. My anxiety has improved over this past year, and slowly I have regained snippets of my daily life as best as possible. However, I still haven’t been able to build my confidence up to use trains, tubes or buses. The last time I used a train was back in October 2015 (a year ago, wow!) when I travelled down to LDN for a my protein event. I remember vividly how difficult that was – and how many times I considered getting off and turning back around.
So this weekend, there was no denying that I was nervous. I had been thinking over the scenarios over and over again in my head. Which anyone who suffers with, or cares for someone with anxiety will understand is one of the WORST things we can do. However, in the end – I did it. I faced my anxiety head on. I didn’t let it defeat me! I had a minor panic, but I DIDN’T run away. That for me was a big big achievement. It gave me a little spark, to remind myself that I’m STRONGER than I think and I am making improvements every day.
The very last thing to note is that anxiety is an INVISIBLE ILLNESS – and I hope this vlog shows that not everyone who looks okay on the outside is. Many people with anxiety are the people with the biggest smiles, disguising that inside their brain is in overdrive. I do well to hide my panic, and so do many many others with anxiety.
Here is my vlog from my trip to London, and I hope you enjoy the video. Subscribe to my channel here for more fitness, nutrition and lifestyle content: youtube.com/bethtrueman
I hope this can inspire any of you, living with anxiety to take one tiny step outside your comfort zone today. I’m not saying climb that mountain and drown in the deep end, I’m saying lets beat anxiety together ONE DAY AT A TIME. Lots of Love, Beth x